Threats of a four year-old...

Dan: I can do what I want!

Me: Yes, as soon as you graduate college and pay your own way. Until then you do what I want when I want.

Dan: Only G-d can do what he wants!

Me: Yes, G-d and mommies.

A few moments later...


Dan: I can do what I want when I want as long as you tell me what to do!

Me: Okay...

Dan: Tell me to watch TV!

Me: No.

Now here I sit as Dan throws these bombs at me:


I can do what I want when I want!

I didn't watch any Mickey Mouse today!

I am getting very, very, very, very mad!

You're not going to be my friend anymore!

You better be kidding about all of that!

I'm getting very mad at you!

I'm going to tell your mother!

I can watch TV when I want! Okay...?

I CAN watch TV when I want to, Mom...

I'm going to type you out!

Do you understand, Mom? Do you understand???????

I can watch TV as long as I want. Today.

I'm going to snip you.

Don't' tell me what to do, never again!

And to think, four is almost over. When he's five I'll get all this plus a gap-toothed smile...